Beautiful Disaster

Finally, this weekend i get to have fun like i have been wanting to for however long it's been. This weekend i get to do whatever i want and not worry about any consequences because it's my life. I think that everyone deserves to have one week a month that is completely theirs. It seems to me that nowadays people aren't thinking nearly enough about themselves and having fun. So here's your freeby, do what you want this weekend. Seriously, i am going to drink and party and just have a fun time, the kind of fun that is only reachable when you are with friends who care about you enough to allow you to make a fool of yourself.
Here's some good luck to anyone who needs it, have all the luck you want from me. My luck is not needed over the next few days, the only day that i really need it is on friday, hopefully nothing goes unexpectedly. Although sometimes the unexpected can be absolutely perfect and needed, so maybe i should hope for the perfectly unexpected to happen and hope that no accidents happen. I hope that maybe the boy of my dreams will give me a call and tell me that he feels the same way. Odds are that someone will have the perfect night and maybe a few people will have crappy nights but it is all for the cause of fun.
My goal for this month is to change my group of friends, not entirely of course but just the people i spend the majority of time with. I think that the reason i have been so down lately is because i no longer have the ability to relate to the people that i am with and therefore need new people to relate to. Also by expanding and altering my current circle i think that i will be able to alter myself to a happier me, i think that maybe if i do this then i will become less depressed, maybe, just maybe, this will allow me to be the person i need myself to be right now.
Maybe the thing that everyone needs today is a little Jesse McCartney, so turn him on, because although you don't want to admit it i am sure there is at least one of his songs that you find amusing if not enjoyable. I recommend right where you want me or just so you know, but that's just me. I think that all i need right now is a little Jesse and a bubble bath, mmm yeah that sounds just perfect.
So off i go to do whatever i need to do, your dare is to do the same. Recharge your batteries during this week because you'll need it for the weekend if yours looks anything like mine. Hope you all have a good one over the next few days, hopefully i get some more followers within the next couple months or this blog is a little pointless for anyone but me, anyway i should header now.

Far longer then forever

Things happen for a reason, or so I'm told. I'm just wondering what the reason is for my back to be so injured. Is the goal to make my life even less bearable? In all honesty I know that things happen for a reason but when nothing is going right in my life it is hard for me to see the light.
In the future I hope that I don't have to bare this feeling. The feeling that at any time I might breakdown, or maybe just turn off. So far this year I have not had a good day, and I wish that that was an exaggeration but in all honesty it isn't. I would say that all I need is a guy to care for me, but I don't. That's the last thing that I need right now because I don't want to crush others with my problems. Today all I did was read, do missed homework and watch a movie, oh and spend a half hour trying to get down the stairs. A good day in the eyes of some, but to me unbearable. Sitting around doing nothing is the last thing that I want these days.
I think that watching The Swan Princess today was good because it allowed me to see happiness I used to feel when I was little. Plus I got to sing along which is always fabulously fun. I guess that cartoon movies from childhood are the best medicine sometimes but I don't know if it really helped me today unfortunately.
The dare for tomorrow, suck it up and pretend my happiness exists, for my non existant readers? Believe that life is good and people are good as well. My song request is anything classicly Disney or other popular cartoons, like the Hercules soundtrack or maybe Anastasia. Cartoon soundtracks contain happiness that only children can truely grasp and have on a regular day basis. So listen up because they'll make you feel immensely better!

Pretty Young Thing

Basically I am to the point where life is giving me nothing. I am nearly numb, nothing is left in me to give. I feel as though everything in my life is negative, but that shouldn't be the way it is. Today I got to gossip with a couple of my girls and that was wonderful, gossiping about boys is just so easy as a teenager. I still talk normally on the outside, make jokes when necessary. The idea is to act normal outside and not show anyone just how broken you are on the inside.
In reality life should be a gift received daily, but right now it seems like this burden. I get to dance and go to school and live in a safe home, what's wrong with me? Boys are so stressing me out right now, I mean I realize that they aren't worth my time but I think that they are wonderful. They have such a power over me and all other girls and women. It is so hard for me to resist guys when it comes to.... Well anything.
Now since i have decided not to mention names or anything I cannot really get into details but let me tell you, I have had my fair share of boy drama and unnecessary heartbreak. So since I don't really have anything more to discuss I will leave you with this.
I would tell you which song to listen to but I can't for the life of me remember what it is called, maybe you can find it? Good luck

"you came to me, full of pain.
Your guard was down, you felt ashamed.
Cry yourself to sleep to escape,
From that day, from all the pain"

if you figure out what it's called I will give you a cyber high five.